In early sobriety I didn’t go anywhere. My Grammie forced me out and we went to a TGI Friday’s near my college. I specifically asked to be sat away from the bar and told them to hold the drink menu. Guess what the first question when you’re a female that is not drinking? Oh, you’re pregnant, congrats. 😳
Since then I’ve encountered many times I’m in a setting where drinking is the norm. I’ve been in NYC and flipped my wine glass upside down to not be served while everyone else imbibed. I’ve went to the lake with family as they drank beer and it didn’t bother me. In my early sobriety the holidays were coming…loved ones drinking didn’t bother me, although they checked with me if it was okay.
I drank alone when upset. When I was surrounded by loved ones, I didn’t care if they drank, I woke up the next morning happy and healthy, sober.
I had to eventually go to parties, events, and celebrations where drinking is the “goal”. You go to get wasted or escape. Sparkling water with lime…club soda, Mocktails. Anything other than alcohol, I needed something in my hands to make me feel like I was a part of something. My ex boyfriend…I bought drinking paraphanelia, whiskey glasses with the maps of where he traveled. He had expensive liquors sitting in my floor for 2 weeks awaiting shipment to him. I didn’t care, I boxed it up with popping bubbles (great addiction) and sent it off.
Alcohol was an escape for me. When I slipped, it was because I was stressed and lonely. It’s not a fun thing for me.
So next time you “Don’t know what to do with your hands”
1- Pray (best thing you can do with your hands)
2-Order a Mocktail (my favorite a bartender served me in East Atlanta had Root Beer and Orange Bitters)
3- Sparkling Water… just be boujee.
4-If you’re uncomfortable…leave. Real friends won’t encourage you to break sobriety.